Castle Keep Ch. 05
Date: 09.07.2008
Keywords: Keep, 05, Castle, Ch.,
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"Colder, Colder," she uttered in rapid succession.
Bryan retreated and returned with the previous vibrator. He smiled, secretly thrilled that the girl preferred this one. From comparing earlier, he knew its size to be very near his own.
"Warmer. Definitely warmer," Madeline said as the young man eased her favorite back inside.
Bryan began to experiment with different pressures and angles, all the while listening and responding to her reactions. He soon discovered she seemed to favor a slow, shallow thrusting with a slight upward tilt.
Having found what he believed was the proper pressure, rhythm, and angle, Bryan experimented with the power setting on the vibrator, increasing it so long as Madeline issued a "warmer", backing off slightly at the first "colder."
Bryan then practiced his wrist technique for a minute or so, until it required no conscious effort. Madeline's body was in motion as well, in sync with his hand's movements. Confident his hand was doing its job, he returned to place his mouth upon her clit, sucking as much of her upper vulva as he could between his lips. He then began to caress the tender morsel.
"Oh, God!" Madeline cried. "Hot. Hot! Very hot! My..." Her words trailed off into an unintelligible stream that evolved into a long, meandering moan
Bryan ignored this breach of the rules and continued lavishing his affections upon her. Madeline's body tensed. Bryan could feel her pussy pushing back on the toy, and he did his best to maintain the tempo in spite of the increased pressure required. She was gripped by the largest seizure of the evening, indeed the most intense she could ever recall. Her back arched upwards in an unnatural pose until, with a single breath, she sank back to the mattress.
At once, Bryan removed his mouth just enough to ask, "What do you think of the game?"
Madeline reached with her hand and tilted the mask, raising her head just enough to make eye contact. "It's the best game I've ever played," she said. "And your Internet girlfriends are right."
Bryan dropped his scant brow into a line. "What?"
"You are a good lover," Madeline announced with a wink.
"Really?"
Madeline bounced her eyebrows. "Yes. But now I'm in the mood for something else."
"You are? What?"
"Guess. It's not a tongue and it's not a toy."
Bryan's brow dropped as he cocked his head. "Not a tongue and not a toy?" he mused in a whisper. He glanced to his hand.
Madeline smiled. She allowed her head to fall onto the pillow and pulled the mask back over her eyes. Still wearing a broad smile she said simply, "Colder."
"THE END "
"Copyright 2004 by Penelope Street"
"Posted with permission at Literotica.com"
"All other rights reserved."
No more drinking, I am getting my life back. Wannabe was rock bottom. I thank God I survived all my self-destruction, and decide to move on. I'm really doing it this time.
A week I find myself in my bed 3am on a Tuesday night starring at my calendar trying to recall dates of my last period. Something is wrong. It's unthinkable for to be pregnant. I add days and estimate. Fuck it I have to work early. I roll over and close my eyes and imagine my night with John Deer. I hate Ex, I wish he were dead. He and his fat ugly girlfriend. I'm fatter. I want to scream, but I sleep.
There are two lines. Why are there two lines? This is wrong. I bought this test, it was supposed to put my mind at ease. It's supposed to be negative, telling me like always, that I'm late because I'm stressed. I'm not pregnant. I'm not. There are two lines. I'm imagining things. I call my roommate. I ask her if she sees two lines. She does. This is a sick mistake. Roommate goes to the store to get more pregnancy tests. I call school friend, she is at the store, and she's run into Roommate, who's filled her in. She's on her way over. I call Girl, I need support, and I need comfort. Girl says I'm not pregnant not to worry. I'm not worried I'm not pregnant.
Three tests later, two lines, four lines, and pink dots. All positives. This isn't funny. This isn't right, I'm not pregnant. My mind races, a flash of John Deer as he came washes over me, he pulled out, I felt it hit my back. He pulled me close to him kissing me stroking my skin. The second time, I'm about to cum again, he pulled out moaning softly. I'm not pregnant. I can't have a kid. I'm not ready I'm to fat to stupid to hurt too angry. This isn't happening. This isn't me. Friend and Roommate look at me, not knowing what to say. Friend sits next to me, I begin to cry. This isn't how it's supposed to be. I know what I have to do but I hate to do it. Friend holds me, comforts me, Roommate tries not to cry. They warned me, they told me not to, I knew better too, but it didn't stop me.
I sit up and dry my eyes. I look up Planned Parenthood. There is no number, I look under clinics, nothing. Frustrated I give the book to Friend. She looks up abortion there is page after page of ads. I know she doesn't want to but she hands the phone book back to me. I write down four numbers. I'll call in the morning.
The office looks informal, like college kids put it together. A woman I hope is a nurse in jeans and sneakers give me an ultrasound. I want this to stop to end. I'm early, 3 weeks. I can't believe I'm relieved. It isn't Trolls. But I already knew that it was John Deer's. During the ultrasound I stare at the ceiling wishing. I wish I were 25, with a job, a healthy mind and body, a home and health insurance so I could have this baby alone. I wish Ex were sitting next to me, his eyes wide as he searches the little screen for his first look at our first baby. I wish I were anything but what I am now. But I m not. I'm here alone my eyes glued to the cheap cork ceiling. I'm praying that this is just a nightmare, the screen facing away from me. I hear nothing. My soul leaves my body again, looking down at me in disbelief. This is the price you pay? Was it worth it? I thought you were better than this? You had so much potential, now look at you. You're this? The nurse asks me if I'm all right, I tell her I'm fine. I am really. I wish I was dead, but I'm not, so other than that I'm fine.
A nurse explains to me my options. She's beautiful, I could have been her once, hell I could have been her boss, but not now. She doesn't look me in the eyes. Have I considered my options? Yes, I want it gone. I want my child gone. I wont make it pay for my mistakes. Tomorrow, its tomorrow and it will be a little pill that's it. Over.
Girl's evil older brother is having a baby with his too young girlfriend. Girl tells me this on the day, I am to take a little pill that will correct my mistakes. It so easy, just pay and all is forgiven. Evil and Too Young are having their baby together. There idiots. I could raise a baby better than they could. I know that they should not have a baby, but they are. They have each other. They are together, and that is so much more than what I have. Too Young doesn't have to stand in the shower, in the morning with white light coming in over the water. She doesn't have to ask herself if there is any part of her that wants this baby. Too young doesn't have to do this, and I do. I find nothing in me that says I want my baby.
I wish things were different. I wish I knew who John Deer was. I wish I knew I f he was a good man. I wish he knew the old me, the woman who Ex loved. Who I loved. Who was amazing and smart and wouldn't have fucked ever a stranger on itchy shag carpet on a Tuesday night. I wish my baby would have a mother who was healthy and didn't hate herself. I wish that my baby's mother was the real me lean, strong, healthy happy. But my baby's mother is me. I'm here alone in this waiting room alone, fat, ugly, hateful, bitter and angry, with stringy hair. I find my self starring into faces of girls younger than me there with their boy friends. The boyfriends stare at me and wonder who was so drunk that they knocked fat ugly me up. I wish Ex hadn't left me, that this baby was his. I know that although my baby was not in our plans, Ex wouldn't let me destroy him. Yes I said him.
I sit in my car, it's a beautiful day. Its and hour before I leave for the clinic I cry and bang my head on the steering wheel. I'm wishing that I had someone, anyone, like Too Young has Evil. So at least my baby wouldn't have only me to count on. I'm jealous that stupid flaky Too Young gets to have her baby and I don't. I wish for a million different things, but I'm still there, alone in my dirty car on a beautiful winter morning tears streaming down my face, in front of my apartment. Wishing that I wasn't going to have to do this. I was better than this, this isn't me.
I sign the paper, I am handed a little cup. The pill is yellow with a line in it, writing. My mind searches for any sign of protest. Speak now, or forever hold your peace, says the priest in my head. Do I want this? I take the pill drink the water. I do, no going back now.
I come home I don't cry. I don't feel anything. I feel alone, like everything is empty. Its like everything is pulled off the walls, all bleached white. Stripped, like my uterus will be after this pill is done. It will be over soon.
At the last check up the doctor comes in shows me an ultra sound of my empty uterus. With exaggerated enthusiasm he tells me that I did very well, and it's all gone. Am I supposed to jump up and down? Get out my dancing shoes? I thank him, but all he did was give me a paper to sign. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it was. It was too easy. So easy, no pain little guilt. I begin to bleed. I say good bye to my baby. I think it will come back when I am ready, I will be ready someday. Sometimes I see myself with my baby my son, Jackson. He looks like me and is eternally three years old. He looks like John Deer a little. I can't picture John Deer's face, so in my head my son has features of some beautiful fantasy man. I emptied him from my body, but my soul kept him close.
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Keywords: Keep, 05, Castle, Ch.,